Gifts of the Holy Spirit

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My eldest son was confirmed this month. I am so proud of him. I am especially proud of his persistence in the face of difficulty and choice of confirmation sponsors.

One of this kid's strengths is Individualization. Here's a description from the Clifton Strenghtfinders 34 Signature Themes:

Individualization
Your Individualization theme leads you to be intrigued by the unique qualities of each person. You are impatient with generalizations or “types” because you don’t want to obscure what is special and distinct about each person. Instead, you focus on the differences between individuals. You instinctively observe each person’s style, each person’s motivation, how each thinks, and how each builds relationships. You hear the one-of-akind stories in each person’s life. This theme explains why you pick your friends just the right birthday gift, why you know that one person prefers praise in public and another detests it, and why you tailor your teaching style to accommodate one person’s need to be shown and another’s desire to “figure it out as I go.” Because you are such a keen observer of other people’s strengths, you can draw out the best in each person. This Individualization theme also helps you build productive teams. While some search around for the perfect team “structure” or “process,” you know instinctively that the secret to great teams is casting by individual strengths so that everyone can do a lot of what they do well.

So, I made lots of suggestions about who would make a good sponsor.  He decided last year.  I suggested others.  He stuck to his guns.  He was right.  The man, the great man he chose is and was the Religious Emblem Chair of my son's BSA troop.  My son is the chaplain's aid.  Last year, my son and one other boy worked under the direction of this man on the Ad Altare Dei Catholic Religious award.  Consider the award confirmation preparation.  They met weekly for months going through the program.  The other boy often did not attend due to conflicts, so during meetings when working on this award, my son got to know this man well, and vice versa.  They found out they both had a mutual LOVE of history and the Catholic faith.

This humble man was honored when my son asked him to be his sponsor.  He attended the Sending Forth Mass and Dinner with our family, attended the Confirmation Mass (all two hours of it) and came to my son's party two weeks later.  He wasn't missing anything. 

Now, I know this man is wonderful for many reasons, but here's what brought me to tears.  He wrote a long letter to my son and gave him a gift that was so very personal and beautiful.  He had to know my son to truly understand how powerful his gift was.  My son granted me permission to reprint part of the letter here:

What's an appropriate, fitting confirmation present?  What might continue to mean something as the years roll by?  I'm sure it's been a question relatives and family friends have pondered for generations long passed.  I thought of these old Roman coins for you, one from the time of St. Lawrence and one from just a little later.  What would someone have received back during St. Lawrence's time or when his recent martyrdom was so actively bringing people to the church?  There were, of course, no Bibles back then, and most people were illiterate anyway.  In those times of persecution, you couldn't go buy a cross or an icon of your patron saint.  Plus, nearly all these new converts would have been considered very poor by our modern standards.  So their family and friends couldn't have given them much more than love and prayers - no gold, no valuable religious texts, no fine new clothes - but they might have given them a few small coins.  Maybe even these...

 The rest is all very personal to my son, but I was touched at how thoughtful this gift was and wanted to share it with you.  So, if you didn't catch it from the description, his gift to my son was two Roman coins: one minted around 222 AD and another minted around 313 AD. 

So, besides receiving the gifts of the Holy Spirit, my son received a gift of a life long friend to lean on in his walk as a Catholic.  He is so very blessed.

Why Boys Need Scouts and Other "Boy Only" Groups

This just in on boys...

"Boys also need to imagine themselves in heroic situations. When girls are asked about Vimy Ridge, they say, “Whew, it must have been horrific.” When boys are asked, they imagine what they would have done if they’d been there. “Our most powerful assembly is on Remembrance Day,” says Mr. Power. “Every boy is thinking to himself: How would I have measured up?”

Boys long to be part of something bigger than themselves. And the bigger and more challenging the task, the happier they are. “If you tell 10 boys you need volunteers to go downtown and work all night on a big, dirty, tough job, and you still expect them to show up at school the next day, they’ll all jump up and volunteer,” says Ms. Gauthier.

Boys love rituals, trophies and tradition. Those also make them feel part of something bigger than themselves.

But, in the modern world, boys are often treated as a problem. The dominant narrative around difficult boys – at least in the public school system – is that they’re unteachable, unreachable, disruptive and threatening. Many commentators – men as well as women – blame male culture itself for the problems with boys. In their view, what we need to do is destroy the death star of masculinity and all the evil that goes with it. What we need to do is put boys in touch with their emotions and teach them to behave more like girls."

This is one of the reasons boys need organizations like the Boy Scouts of America.  Where else do they get the opportunity to challenge their boyness?  I'm sure you can imagine how worried I was when my boy (then 12) and my husband slept outside in -12 degree weather.  They survived and he came back a different, better kid.  How about the Order of the Arrow ordeal?  I have not idea what it entails, but I'm sure it's tougher than roasting marshmallows over a campfire.  The Boy Scouts of America continue to give boys a chance to be a part of something bigger than themselves, enjoy rituals, trophies and traditions.  They also push the boys to step outside their comfort zone.  They also are constantly in service to others.

My Eagle Scout husband continues to amaze me in that he still does "a good turn daily".  Last night at dinner time, he thought he'd dash out quickly to put our garbage to the curb for pickup today.  A truck pulled up in front of our house on our cul de sac street.  An older gentleman, probably in his eighties, was lost and disoriented and asked for help.  My husband skipped dinner and led the man to his destination (in his own car).  He's my hero and that is what Scouts does to a boy.  He makes a man that is willing to skip his dinner and help someone in need.

The Boy Scouts are under fire, as usual.  But here's what I think is beautiful.  Outside normal society (the messed up one that includes many schools that are failing our boys), there are still men that feel this is important.  Eddie, who is 83 this year, realized that is true.  While his boys were in Scouts in the 60's, he realized that what the Boy Scouts offered to boys is something important and he stuck with it for 50 years.  My husband is drawn to it, too, because he sees the war on boys.  Luckily, because of homeschooling, my son is not affected (as much) as his schooled peers.  I say as much, because I had no brothers and this whole "boy" business is so foreign to me.  Thank you, God, for making us different!  However, what has happened?  Why is it that we now cater to women and not men.

Go read the article and go find a way to challenge your boy.  He'll thank you for it.  Society (and his future wife) will, too.