Gifts of the Holy Spirit

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My eldest son was confirmed this month. I am so proud of him. I am especially proud of his persistence in the face of difficulty and choice of confirmation sponsors.

One of this kid's strengths is Individualization. Here's a description from the Clifton Strenghtfinders 34 Signature Themes:

Individualization
Your Individualization theme leads you to be intrigued by the unique qualities of each person. You are impatient with generalizations or “types” because you don’t want to obscure what is special and distinct about each person. Instead, you focus on the differences between individuals. You instinctively observe each person’s style, each person’s motivation, how each thinks, and how each builds relationships. You hear the one-of-akind stories in each person’s life. This theme explains why you pick your friends just the right birthday gift, why you know that one person prefers praise in public and another detests it, and why you tailor your teaching style to accommodate one person’s need to be shown and another’s desire to “figure it out as I go.” Because you are such a keen observer of other people’s strengths, you can draw out the best in each person. This Individualization theme also helps you build productive teams. While some search around for the perfect team “structure” or “process,” you know instinctively that the secret to great teams is casting by individual strengths so that everyone can do a lot of what they do well.

So, I made lots of suggestions about who would make a good sponsor.  He decided last year.  I suggested others.  He stuck to his guns.  He was right.  The man, the great man he chose is and was the Religious Emblem Chair of my son's BSA troop.  My son is the chaplain's aid.  Last year, my son and one other boy worked under the direction of this man on the Ad Altare Dei Catholic Religious award.  Consider the award confirmation preparation.  They met weekly for months going through the program.  The other boy often did not attend due to conflicts, so during meetings when working on this award, my son got to know this man well, and vice versa.  They found out they both had a mutual LOVE of history and the Catholic faith.

This humble man was honored when my son asked him to be his sponsor.  He attended the Sending Forth Mass and Dinner with our family, attended the Confirmation Mass (all two hours of it) and came to my son's party two weeks later.  He wasn't missing anything. 

Now, I know this man is wonderful for many reasons, but here's what brought me to tears.  He wrote a long letter to my son and gave him a gift that was so very personal and beautiful.  He had to know my son to truly understand how powerful his gift was.  My son granted me permission to reprint part of the letter here:

What's an appropriate, fitting confirmation present?  What might continue to mean something as the years roll by?  I'm sure it's been a question relatives and family friends have pondered for generations long passed.  I thought of these old Roman coins for you, one from the time of St. Lawrence and one from just a little later.  What would someone have received back during St. Lawrence's time or when his recent martyrdom was so actively bringing people to the church?  There were, of course, no Bibles back then, and most people were illiterate anyway.  In those times of persecution, you couldn't go buy a cross or an icon of your patron saint.  Plus, nearly all these new converts would have been considered very poor by our modern standards.  So their family and friends couldn't have given them much more than love and prayers - no gold, no valuable religious texts, no fine new clothes - but they might have given them a few small coins.  Maybe even these...

 The rest is all very personal to my son, but I was touched at how thoughtful this gift was and wanted to share it with you.  So, if you didn't catch it from the description, his gift to my son was two Roman coins: one minted around 222 AD and another minted around 313 AD. 

So, besides receiving the gifts of the Holy Spirit, my son received a gift of a life long friend to lean on in his walk as a Catholic.  He is so very blessed.

Intellectual Friendships (Part 3 of 4)

For our husbands...

In the everyday course of intellectual friendship, friends share with each other their moments of insight, present them to each other for testing. Such moments in turn require us to reconsider not just that discrete matter, but everything else in our view of the whole that touches upon the matter....As Socrates knew twenty-five centuries ago, the normal mean for penetrating further and synthesizing our knowledge is dialogue. Intellectual friendship consists in a great ocean of dialogue and discussion and those who have tasted it know it is among the highest human pleasures. - Mark C. Henri

As home schooling families go, I think we are pretty normal. Mom (the teacher) plans and executes most of the school activities with Dad (the principle) giving his approval to the plan and execution. The kids enjoy (or perhaps not) the fruits of the above agreement. Usually (not always) this is the arrangement. I have a few friends where the Dad is the primary teacher. I also have friends where one or more of the children attend school outside the home.

As part of this arrangement, Mom belongs to a support group of some type to help further develop herself and get some support on this journey. The kids may belong to a co-op, attend book clubs or other home school activities with an educational emphasis.

Who is left out of this equation? Dad. Well, perhaps Dad works outside the house. Is it fair to say he will find someone at work with whom he can discuss the books he just read about by G. K. Chesterton or Rod Dreher? Perhaps he wants to discuss religion or politics? In the current economic situation where jobs hang precariously on the brink of being outsourced, it seems that our men have to hang their conservative hats at the door and be "politically correct" at work or risk being disciplined for harassment or discrimination.

So where's the dad to go? I hope the church or political party of choice provides some outlet, but that is not always the case. I think the home school dad feels a pull and uneven responsibility compared to dads of kids that are schooled. Maybe I am wrong. I think the Dad feels obligated to get Mom out of the house because she's been there all day long with the kids and she deserves a break. Dads deserve one, too, because besides working all day, dealing with the demands of providing for a large family (at least in our case) as well as trying to maintain or advance their careers takes a toll. Then, once they are home they feel the pull to be Dad and Husband. They, too, need time to read, silently reflect, pray and discuss things intellectually with other men.

They deserve time to foster and develop intellectual relationships. However, my husband has found that difficult. Most dads are in the same spot as my husband. I think. Work (Employee/Manager/insert-work title-here). Home (Dad and Husband). Repeat 4 more times. Home (Dad and Husband). Church (Dad and Husband, still) and Home(Dad and Husband). Perhaps things will improve as our children age. One of the few hobbies my husband has is watching "guy movies" in the "man cave." He invites other dads over to watch. He would like to discuss them, but the other men are Dads and Husbands that feel obligated to get back home to their families rather than stay and discuss the movie.

So, what does the man of your family do for intellectual friendships? I'm all ears. I would like to see what others have done to satisfy this important need.

What is a Classic?

Homo unius libri timeo. - I fear the man of a single book. -- St. Thomas Aquinas

Of course, my first thought was that someone who only knew one book was really stupid. I have lots to say about that as I know many people who really only know one book. I also look at many Protestants that follow the Bible ONLY (sola scriptura) that don't go any farther. They haven't bothered to read books by the Saints or even Luther. They don't understand the need for a Catechism or the Magisterium.

After reading more Aquinas, as I've found in Introduction to St. Thomas Aquinas and other books, what he really meant was:

"[Aquinas's] words are generally quoted today in disparagement of the man whose mental horizons are limited to a single book. Aquinas, however, meant that a man who has thoroughly mastered one good book can be dangerous as an opponent. The Greek poet Archilochus meant something like this when he said that the fox knows many things but the hedgehog knows one big thing."

And here folks is the real guts: When you know a book (even if it is only one), you are a force with which to be reckoned! That's the beauty of the classics, because what is a classic, really? It's the book you read over and over again. It feeds your soul and becomes a part of you. Therefore, there are times we who are following the TJEd model are like the hedgehog.

What is your classic? Lately, mine has been Jane Eyre. My daughter and I have been reading it over and over again this summer, which is a beautiful thing because I feel our souls becoming even more intertwined. Of course, she's 8 and reading an abridged version. But, she loves it none the less and can't wait to read the REAL version. We'll be doing that together very soon...

Here we go again:
Alenda lux ubi orta libertas.